These changes
The changes on the wind are getting larger and more obvious and apparent as time progresses. I had to watch the changes on Tuesday, and I'm not sure that I'm ok with the whole scenario. They're bigger this time...way more obvious. Much harder to explain them away when I notice them. However, it is very difficult to prove because most everybody else has already had their memory wiped and the hard copies of things have already disappeared. Places that I should have been able to find the information to prove that something was amiss aren't there anymore. Either the information has been totally deleted, or it has been changed already.
Things that are amiss to me though probably not to anybody else:
Peter Frampton just came out with a new album.
My favorite pictures on the internet have totally disappeared as have their original websites.
Today I tried to tell another friend about it, and the messages appeared to send but never got through to him.
It was very very cloudy on Tuesday, but only for about 40 minutes.
A plane, a bus and a boat all crashed on Tuesday.
My friend in Wisconsin got into an accident recently.
A guy who was coming to pick me up on Tuesday night got into an accident on his way over here.
I was irrationally angry about not having a car again on Tuesday night.
Something is watching me, even now.
Something will probably happen to me when I try to post this.
I'm struggling to find a sane way to deal with all this crap, especially since precious few people believe me. I know too much some days...today is one of those days. Normally my defense against getting caught up in the swirls is to logically prove myself right and prove the other wrong. But the more I tried to prove things that I knew were true last night and today, the more the information stacked against me. Again, I'm at a point in my life where I can't prove what's real and what isn't, or what "shouldn't be" real. I know that I'm not going to find even one shred of evidence that supports what I know is real, and that really fucking sucks! Whatever is helping cover up this "magical realm change" (that's what I'm gonna call it so that nobody thinks I'm talking about weird political crap or some other nonsense) has done such a thorough job that I can't even find a back door to the information I need.
Then the thing that I know have to realize: This is the reality now, even if it wasn't the reality two days ago. I can't do anything about this change, I can't stop it from happening again, I can't make it go back to the way it was. I have to accept that this is the real reality, even if it isn't. And it's not! Otherwise, if I don't learn to just "deal with it" I'll go nuts again. Magic is hard enough to prove to people who don't believe, and even that only usually happens with some sort of proof that other people can check. But where there is no proof, the truth cannot be seen.
Artists use lies to expose the truth. Today is a new day! A blind man sees no changes in the sky or the world, but he can feel them. How much longer is the rest of the world gonna be blind? When will they finally realize that all they need do is take off the fucking blinders and look around?!?! I can't believe the normal people didn't notice this time...I don't blame them for the other times because I barely noticed...but this time........
"There is no use in dying, when still I seem to be undone. There is no use in trying to find again the love of someone. Where have I gone? and come so far. Well, I've been headed nowhere. I have been walking quite a while alone, feeling lonesome."
"Don't you worry they won't find my body. I want you to know I've found peace in another world. Don't you dig in I want you to leave. Back away from the place where my ashes are buried."
"I still can hear you breathing as if you'd never gone away. I still can feel your touch your tenderness as if you're still there. There is no sense in crying only liquid running from my eyes. And all the feeling I restrained above remained as that survived."
"Don't you worry they won't find my body. I want you to know I've found peace in another world. Don't you dig in I want you to leave. Back away from the place where my ashes are buried." --Beborn Beton, "Another World."
How appropriate that this song is playing now on my player.
Things that are amiss to me though probably not to anybody else:
Peter Frampton just came out with a new album.
My favorite pictures on the internet have totally disappeared as have their original websites.
Today I tried to tell another friend about it, and the messages appeared to send but never got through to him.
It was very very cloudy on Tuesday, but only for about 40 minutes.
A plane, a bus and a boat all crashed on Tuesday.
My friend in Wisconsin got into an accident recently.
A guy who was coming to pick me up on Tuesday night got into an accident on his way over here.
I was irrationally angry about not having a car again on Tuesday night.
Something is watching me, even now.
Something will probably happen to me when I try to post this.
I'm struggling to find a sane way to deal with all this crap, especially since precious few people believe me. I know too much some days...today is one of those days. Normally my defense against getting caught up in the swirls is to logically prove myself right and prove the other wrong. But the more I tried to prove things that I knew were true last night and today, the more the information stacked against me. Again, I'm at a point in my life where I can't prove what's real and what isn't, or what "shouldn't be" real. I know that I'm not going to find even one shred of evidence that supports what I know is real, and that really fucking sucks! Whatever is helping cover up this "magical realm change" (that's what I'm gonna call it so that nobody thinks I'm talking about weird political crap or some other nonsense) has done such a thorough job that I can't even find a back door to the information I need.
Then the thing that I know have to realize: This is the reality now, even if it wasn't the reality two days ago. I can't do anything about this change, I can't stop it from happening again, I can't make it go back to the way it was. I have to accept that this is the real reality, even if it isn't. And it's not! Otherwise, if I don't learn to just "deal with it" I'll go nuts again. Magic is hard enough to prove to people who don't believe, and even that only usually happens with some sort of proof that other people can check. But where there is no proof, the truth cannot be seen.
Artists use lies to expose the truth. Today is a new day! A blind man sees no changes in the sky or the world, but he can feel them. How much longer is the rest of the world gonna be blind? When will they finally realize that all they need do is take off the fucking blinders and look around?!?! I can't believe the normal people didn't notice this time...I don't blame them for the other times because I barely noticed...but this time........
"There is no use in dying, when still I seem to be undone. There is no use in trying to find again the love of someone. Where have I gone? and come so far. Well, I've been headed nowhere. I have been walking quite a while alone, feeling lonesome."
"Don't you worry they won't find my body. I want you to know I've found peace in another world. Don't you dig in I want you to leave. Back away from the place where my ashes are buried."
"I still can hear you breathing as if you'd never gone away. I still can feel your touch your tenderness as if you're still there. There is no sense in crying only liquid running from my eyes. And all the feeling I restrained above remained as that survived."
"Don't you worry they won't find my body. I want you to know I've found peace in another world. Don't you dig in I want you to leave. Back away from the place where my ashes are buried." --Beborn Beton, "Another World."
How appropriate that this song is playing now on my player.
posted by AeroAangel at 23:20
1 Comments:
the story behind this post and the previous one is very long, intricate, and requires a huugge leap of faith to believe which is why i only allude to it. the inner workings of my brain are not what is breaking down...it's the physical reality around me that's breaking down and changing and i'm merely trying to learn how to deal with it mentally.
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