The Darkness Is Here!
This is a continuation of a post I had a long time ago...several months, I'm sure. Though I'm not going to link it because right now, I don't care that much to think ahead.
At any rate, I posted a quote about the darkness before about "what will you do when the darkness comes for you?"
Well, tonight it came for me...
Balance...fucking balance...always harmony, that's my way, that's my will, that's my path in this crazy weird world.
So tonight the darkness came for me, even in the company of some very strong friends...and I didn't know what to say. I'm afraid to sleep, because I don't know in my heart (not my head) what my answer is. My head knows what the truth is, but my heart won't accept it. And I'm not sure I'm willing to accept the whole of my world and the whole of what I'll be expected to do later; the whole of my role in this whole "pre-planned scenario", without it giving back to me what I need. Anybody who knows me really well will know what I mean by this...only one thing do I need to go on and do whatever is expected of me.
But a very powerful friend brought up an interesting point tonight...do I only do what I'm expected to do because the darkness consumes me when I don't get what I need, when I don't get the only thing I'd need to keep on truckin'? Am I destined to not get what I need from this battle? Is that the only reason I do what I know I should do for this cause?
Most of my life has been in the light...maybe it's right, maybe it's time for the darkness to rule me for a while. I hate even saying that...and after even typing it, I'm not sure that I'll hit the post button.
But still I will, mostly because I suspect that those who read my blog, mostly, don't even really know what I'm talking about to begin with. Oh well...it's already too late, I fear, if you don't know what I'm talking about to try and find out.
...Sorry about the bad luck on that one....
**Author's note: I may soon post a link to the other previous posts that related to the darkness taking over...but I may not.**
At any rate, I posted a quote about the darkness before about "what will you do when the darkness comes for you?"
Well, tonight it came for me...
Balance...fucking balance...always harmony, that's my way, that's my will, that's my path in this crazy weird world.
So tonight the darkness came for me, even in the company of some very strong friends...and I didn't know what to say. I'm afraid to sleep, because I don't know in my heart (not my head) what my answer is. My head knows what the truth is, but my heart won't accept it. And I'm not sure I'm willing to accept the whole of my world and the whole of what I'll be expected to do later; the whole of my role in this whole "pre-planned scenario", without it giving back to me what I need. Anybody who knows me really well will know what I mean by this...only one thing do I need to go on and do whatever is expected of me.
But a very powerful friend brought up an interesting point tonight...do I only do what I'm expected to do because the darkness consumes me when I don't get what I need, when I don't get the only thing I'd need to keep on truckin'? Am I destined to not get what I need from this battle? Is that the only reason I do what I know I should do for this cause?
Most of my life has been in the light...maybe it's right, maybe it's time for the darkness to rule me for a while. I hate even saying that...and after even typing it, I'm not sure that I'll hit the post button.
But still I will, mostly because I suspect that those who read my blog, mostly, don't even really know what I'm talking about to begin with. Oh well...it's already too late, I fear, if you don't know what I'm talking about to try and find out.
...Sorry about the bad luck on that one....
**Author's note: I may soon post a link to the other previous posts that related to the darkness taking over...but I may not.**
posted by AeroAangel at 02:00
1 Comments:
that story is long and dark...i don't think i'm ready to share it...and i'm not sure i ever will be.
but if you know what i'm trying to say already...congrats, then you won't be as lost in future posts about similiar subjects...that are similarly "coded".
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