Sunday, August 27, 2006

snip-its of letters I wrote today

i know now that god let whatever it was...push my car off the road, because he wanted me to be exactly where i am now...he let chaos take away my car but not my life...he let it happen, but saved me because i still have things to do on earth. i know that now...and i'm not sad anymore about the loss of my car, or the most recent loss of my good friend mary--she's not dead, but we will not be friends anymore.

and do not feel ashamed or feel that you wronged me in any way because you could not stand up to legion when he came to you. i am not mad at you, and do not think less of you because of it. i know how powerful he is, i've always known--well for as long as he's been following me--i'm just happy he did not do anything worse to you. I am really the one who should apologize and feel ashamed...because i'm the one who put you in the situation for that to happen. i'm sorry for that and i hope that you'll forgive me for trying to give my burden to you.

i think we're all a little sick of gettin our hearts broken, i've actually decided to become one of the "unlaid" ranks myself...i just don't want to be that intimate with somebody who doesn't really care about me anymore...i can't take it. I want somebody to really love me again...i miss that.

getting into school while working is a very difficult feat to accomplish, but if it's what you really want to do...i know that you will be able to do it. keep heart! and know that all of our burdens are laid on us for a reason (not that you didn't know that already) and even when it's hard...remember to keep the goal in mind...always! that was the hardest part for me about staying in/getting back into school: it was very difficult to see the end result, while all you're doing is treading water....just keep breathing deep and keep your head above water...the place where you're supposed to end up, will eventually show up in the distance.

i'm really glad god decided that i couldn't leave for basic until much later than i wanted to leave b/c now i'll get to see all my army friends before i leave...which will make me very happy.

well, yeah pretty much that's all the new stuff...there was lots more that happened in the last year, but i've covered the basics...this is where i am now...not where i've been, i think that's a much more positive way to begin things again. not to drudge up all the crap that's happened to me over the past year or so...and instead just be honest with myself and with you about where i am right now.

love ya always
angel

1 Comments:

Blogger AeroAangel said...

an invisible state is probably the only way in which you would find me still interesting...and though my age is young to you...i feel like the oldest person on the planet sometimes....my spirit is older than most.

1:34 AM  

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