The Angry Post
Current Mood: Not as Angry
Song in Head: Wild Angels, Martina McBride lyrics
So last night, I tried to be the surprising, cute I-really-listen-when-you-talk-even-if-you're-just-ranting-about-nothing girlfriend type. And I tell you what, I've never had anybody make me feel so bad as he did last night. So here's the story: He really really likes clam chowder so I found a great recipie for it and decided to make it for him, I also made steamed veggies and pasta with only garlic and butter, cuz he likes "bland" food...so i was trying to be adaptive: making about the blandest food I could think of, that I know how to cook. The whole time while I was shopping for the stuff I was so excited, cuz I hadn't yet told him what I was going to be cooking, and I was so proud of myself for thinking of something so sweet (normally I don't do sweet cute things for the people I'm dating), and I was excited because I love surprises for others just as much as for myself...and I thought that I had finally found something that would make him feel good and happy. (If you had heard how excited he was talking about the buffet at red lobster where he ate 4 bowls of clam chowder, you might begin to understand what I thought his reaction would be).
Instead, he was a downer all night...and it didn't even seem like he liked the clam chowder at all. He was going around about how he had wasted his life this year, and that he hadn't done anything worthwhile (inside thought: u met back up with me this year, and we started dating, i guess that's nothing too). So the whole time, I kept waiting for the "happy face" to come, and him to say, but at least I'm not alone at christmas...or wow, that was really good (i'm kinda anal about my cooking, but i still like to hear that people enjoyed it) thanks...but it never came. Finally, we tried talking about it. I told him that I was a little upset that I went out of my way to cook a dinner for him, that I couldn't even eat the main dish (lactose intolerant), and that it felt like he didn't even appreciate it at all. He said nothing except, I'm sorry I've been down today, I'm sorry it's brining you down too, I should have just told you to stay in Nashville tonight. *Great, that makes me feel better, thanks* Then we tried discussing what he wanted to do for the rest of the night...I wanted to go out cuz my friend sylentscreams didn't have her son last night or a car (it broke down) so i thought it would be nice to go and hang out with her for a while. But of course, he didn't want to go out...he just wanted to go to sleep. I wasn't tired. I laid there and watched him for a while, as he fell asleep during this conversation, and then finally rolled over and resigned myself to trying to sleep. Well then, I was asleep for maybe 20 mins or so before I woke up and realized *zing* he wasn't sleeping next to me anymore. He had gotten up to go play on the computer. At this point, I contemplated just getting up and going home, or going over to see SyS for that matter...but I didn't, I just laid there and got angrier and finally went back to sleep to the tune of him typing away in the computer room. At some point later, I know he came back and got into bed with me...but I was only half awake, but still holding the angry "italian" grudge...so I rolled away from him. Woke up some time after that, more awake than before and thought "Wow, he still hasn't gotten back into bed" and proceeded to get slightly angrier still, until I looked up and realized that he was in bed....on the other side of it, with his back to me. Again, I wanted to just get up and leave...I'm not really a confrontation kind of person, I'd much rather just walk away and have time to think about things before I speak about them...but right now I don't think I could count the number of times last night that I wanted to just get up and leave on both hands.
"Hell hath no fury like the woman scorned for Sega", or in this case a computer. But somehow we still woke up cuddling. Go figure.
Song in Head: Wild Angels, Martina McBride lyrics
So last night, I tried to be the surprising, cute I-really-listen-when-you-talk-even-if-you're-just-ranting-about-nothing girlfriend type. And I tell you what, I've never had anybody make me feel so bad as he did last night. So here's the story: He really really likes clam chowder so I found a great recipie for it and decided to make it for him, I also made steamed veggies and pasta with only garlic and butter, cuz he likes "bland" food...so i was trying to be adaptive: making about the blandest food I could think of, that I know how to cook. The whole time while I was shopping for the stuff I was so excited, cuz I hadn't yet told him what I was going to be cooking, and I was so proud of myself for thinking of something so sweet (normally I don't do sweet cute things for the people I'm dating), and I was excited because I love surprises for others just as much as for myself...and I thought that I had finally found something that would make him feel good and happy. (If you had heard how excited he was talking about the buffet at red lobster where he ate 4 bowls of clam chowder, you might begin to understand what I thought his reaction would be).
Instead, he was a downer all night...and it didn't even seem like he liked the clam chowder at all. He was going around about how he had wasted his life this year, and that he hadn't done anything worthwhile (inside thought: u met back up with me this year, and we started dating, i guess that's nothing too). So the whole time, I kept waiting for the "happy face" to come, and him to say, but at least I'm not alone at christmas...or wow, that was really good (i'm kinda anal about my cooking, but i still like to hear that people enjoyed it) thanks...but it never came. Finally, we tried talking about it. I told him that I was a little upset that I went out of my way to cook a dinner for him, that I couldn't even eat the main dish (lactose intolerant), and that it felt like he didn't even appreciate it at all. He said nothing except, I'm sorry I've been down today, I'm sorry it's brining you down too, I should have just told you to stay in Nashville tonight. *Great, that makes me feel better, thanks* Then we tried discussing what he wanted to do for the rest of the night...I wanted to go out cuz my friend sylentscreams didn't have her son last night or a car (it broke down) so i thought it would be nice to go and hang out with her for a while. But of course, he didn't want to go out...he just wanted to go to sleep. I wasn't tired. I laid there and watched him for a while, as he fell asleep during this conversation, and then finally rolled over and resigned myself to trying to sleep. Well then, I was asleep for maybe 20 mins or so before I woke up and realized *zing* he wasn't sleeping next to me anymore. He had gotten up to go play on the computer. At this point, I contemplated just getting up and going home, or going over to see SyS for that matter...but I didn't, I just laid there and got angrier and finally went back to sleep to the tune of him typing away in the computer room. At some point later, I know he came back and got into bed with me...but I was only half awake, but still holding the angry "italian" grudge...so I rolled away from him. Woke up some time after that, more awake than before and thought "Wow, he still hasn't gotten back into bed" and proceeded to get slightly angrier still, until I looked up and realized that he was in bed....on the other side of it, with his back to me. Again, I wanted to just get up and leave...I'm not really a confrontation kind of person, I'd much rather just walk away and have time to think about things before I speak about them...but right now I don't think I could count the number of times last night that I wanted to just get up and leave on both hands.
"Hell hath no fury like the woman scorned for Sega", or in this case a computer. But somehow we still woke up cuddling. Go figure.
posted by AeroAangel at 09:55
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