From the Mind of BCT
Excerpts from my BCT journal will follow. This is just a small attempt to let everybody know how I've changed because of this...and though words don't do the experience justice, I'm sharing some of the actual day to day thoughts of basic training according to me.
07Nov06
...It's odd how withdrawn a person can become in such an environment. The experience is totally different than any other and I feel like I don't wanna talk to anybody about it because I don't think they'll understand. I mean, I can describe the activities and what happens, but I can't describe the way it makes me feel; I can't describe what it really feels like inside when I'm here. You can see it, watch it, read about it, or listen to stories about it, but until you actually do it, you can't fully understand the form of it. But it is worth it, what I'm getting back is worth what I had to give up to do this. I don't think they'll fully break me though because I'm willing to be trained. Like a wild mustang: you may eventually train it to do most of the things you want, you probably won't break its wild spirit; you'll never get to me/it completely. I miss music and mountain dew the most. I don't have much time to miss anything else.
There honestly isn't a lot of time to think here. There isn't really time to miss people or your old life because your day is already so full. There are those who make time to be miserable and continue to think up ways to try to get out but, if you're committed to what you're doing here, you don't have time for all that crap. The only thing I really have time to miss is having spare time, and I miss that about 10 times a day. Hopefully I can get my stomach and arms stronger before I leave because without that, it won't matter if I pass everything else.
08Nov06
...I watched a huge bird today while we were marching to our first aid crash course, I think an eagle but I'm not sure. It drifted up and down on air waves for a long time. It reminded me how free I used to be before this started. It was so majestic to watch, when I saw it I thought, "if only I could film this cuz it truly was one of the most beautiful things I ever saw."...
I like marching though because it gives me quiet time to think. On our road march to Victory Tower, I finally began to understand why they have so many rules in place here and why they organize BCT the way they do. One of these days I' gonna be marching through an area that may not be safe and may have people trying to kill my buddies and myself and one mistake by anybody, even an honest one, could get everybody killed. One little detail forgotten in a combat situation could lead to disaster. I don't think that concept has sunk in yet with the rest of them, but hopefully soon it will.
More to come later...
07Nov06
...It's odd how withdrawn a person can become in such an environment. The experience is totally different than any other and I feel like I don't wanna talk to anybody about it because I don't think they'll understand. I mean, I can describe the activities and what happens, but I can't describe the way it makes me feel; I can't describe what it really feels like inside when I'm here. You can see it, watch it, read about it, or listen to stories about it, but until you actually do it, you can't fully understand the form of it. But it is worth it, what I'm getting back is worth what I had to give up to do this. I don't think they'll fully break me though because I'm willing to be trained. Like a wild mustang: you may eventually train it to do most of the things you want, you probably won't break its wild spirit; you'll never get to me/it completely. I miss music and mountain dew the most. I don't have much time to miss anything else.
There honestly isn't a lot of time to think here. There isn't really time to miss people or your old life because your day is already so full. There are those who make time to be miserable and continue to think up ways to try to get out but, if you're committed to what you're doing here, you don't have time for all that crap. The only thing I really have time to miss is having spare time, and I miss that about 10 times a day. Hopefully I can get my stomach and arms stronger before I leave because without that, it won't matter if I pass everything else.
08Nov06
...I watched a huge bird today while we were marching to our first aid crash course, I think an eagle but I'm not sure. It drifted up and down on air waves for a long time. It reminded me how free I used to be before this started. It was so majestic to watch, when I saw it I thought, "if only I could film this cuz it truly was one of the most beautiful things I ever saw."...
I like marching though because it gives me quiet time to think. On our road march to Victory Tower, I finally began to understand why they have so many rules in place here and why they organize BCT the way they do. One of these days I' gonna be marching through an area that may not be safe and may have people trying to kill my buddies and myself and one mistake by anybody, even an honest one, could get everybody killed. One little detail forgotten in a combat situation could lead to disaster. I don't think that concept has sunk in yet with the rest of them, but hopefully soon it will.
More to come later...
posted by AeroAangel at 06:56
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